The State III: The Process

The State III

The Process:

It is difficult to put phenomenons, that being social behavior,  into words. It is hard to be a confident writer and still produce essays or books that are completely true. I can see this in myself. I have read books and admired them, books that show no coherency to each other whatsoever, but somehow still manage to convince me that there is some truth in what the author is saying. It was in this small confrontation with myself, that I could sense the ambiguity.

How odd it was reading two completely different philosophers, who were opposites and still find yourself nodding in agreement, once you read their arguments and stream of thoughts.

With every book I read, I did not feel at all that I was being presented wisdom, rather I felt that I was being confronted with my own ignorance. With every book, conversation or lecture I became more aware of how shallow my thinking process in actuality is. The world is much bigger; the people inside it have much more going on inside their head than they show.

It struck me with every conversation and it still shows how incompetent I am when it comes to discussions, because there is always a part of me that can see the reasoning behind one's thoughts.

No matter what I say, due to the complexity of the world and its people, we are de facto wrong when it comes to choosing the way we want to life; it is difficult to evaluate which values are superior to others. Ideals in itself are brilliant and we will happily nod in agreement when one exclaims: ‘’Liberté, egalité et fraternité.’’ Yet, the methods to get there often make us blind to remember what even the ideals were we so proudly stood for.

What is the reason for the failure we go through as human species? Is it perhaps that what we see as noble, actually is a handicap of some kind?

Life is failure, without ever having had the opportunity to even see the finish line, we will never be victorious. It is always an inner struggle between wanting two things that contradict themselves, but on their own are flawless.

Individualism, socialism, chauvinism, humanism, nihilism, freedom of speech, mutual respect, values, freedom, morality, rebellion, diversity, unity, nobility, patience.

It is a harsh way to see life. One could say that, but I would object. However, there is still some small candle light at the end of the tunnel.

Even when I was confronted with my own ignorance, I had discovered that in some way there are certain truths that we all share, that instinctively feels right and just.

The idea that one becomes aware from the push and pull movements of life, is only possible when one takes a break from life itself and tries to transcendent whatever world he is living in. Seeing everything not from a biased view, but seeing the world as followed:

The realization that we are part of a big flux that connects one another, in which our existence bases itself upon the choices of the generation beyond us and that our choices form the base for the generation after us. With other words, there is a bigger picture than just that which fulfills our individual needs, but ambiguously we still need to take those individual needs into consideration.

That is such a hard task in itself and is sometimes too demanding.

Not too demanding at all if you ask me. The reason for this, is that coming to this realization takes the most essential part of human nature in question. The ability to think, to be an individual between the herd, yet be one with the herd based on your individualism.

It is true that social behavior and political movements base themselves on the idea that certain ideals are more true, because they fulfill the goal they want to achieve, but that does not mean that the ideas of the rival don’t have the same source.

They still do, there is always some truth in the other, even if it not presented in the desired way. The only way to see that we are all going after the same idea in life, is eliminating the passive thoughtless behavior that many have, that has its root in the inability or refusal to think, therefore denying one’s own individualism.

And why do they do so? The reason being that it is easier to let someone else carry you to the goal and blame it on him if the possibility is open to failure, instead of owning up to one’s own mistakes.

There is no blame in mistakes, but only in being too coward to make them and owning up to your responsibility. 

Contemplation During a Lonely Night

''Il y a des jours où Dieu est si loin, qu'il semble absent''
There are days where God is so far that he seems absent
-Simone de Beauvoir

Unfortunately for me He never felt present. Fortunately maybe, however that's hard to tell on days where you feel like a raindrop falling from far only to be hit by the solid cold ground.
Never have I felt more alone, than realising that growing up doesn't mean solely growing up as a child, but mentally as an adult.
God would be the father figure making sure that all goes well, that I am safe.
For now I feel like I'm an orphan of life. Nothing seems to satisfy me in the slightest. Even worse, I feel empty and joyless. Sucked and drained, but most of all I am afraid.
I barely have enough energy to enjoy anything, but just enough to spend my nights contemplating and worrying. Wasteful nights if you ask me.
Some people weren't made for human interaction, I think I'm part of them,
I never am more confronted with my loneliness and angst than in the middle of the joyful crowd.
I know that escaping and isolation are meaningless, but what else is there in life?
I believe that's indeed what we see as growing up and facing the challenges of a possibly meaningless and empty life, yet giving our all to it.
Amusing if you ask me, for I can't judge whether that's genius madness or mental madness.
Even now as I am writing I can finally sense a form of peace overwhelming me; I am safe.
It has the same cosy feeling I had when mother would hug me tightly before going to sleep, the same warmth, the same isolation inside my own little world.
Growing up is leaving the safe spot from mother's nest and moving on to sharing the bed with a dozen strangers at the off chance that one might be the one for you.
Is it bad? No of course not, for who is there to judge you and your choices?
To say what is right from wrong, to comfort you when you spend your nights crying and seeking for some kind of answer to your ignorance of life.
I sense a balance between not caring at all, very nihilistic of course and on the other side a lot of fear for the unknown. Fear for mistakes I might never forgive myself.
Indeed, there is no God to judge me, but that makes it worse because I know myself.
There where He would give me comfort and salvation, I would never forgive myself. Not because I am perfect, but because I would not be able to look myself in the eyes and see nothing but filth.
And suddenly I would lose my touch for existence, because I apparently never knew what it meant to be alive as I indeed made those mistakes.
They haven't happened yet, but this would indeed be how I would reason with myself.

Oh desperate times, lovely lonely times.
Please world, leave me at rest and I will never provoke you again. I too bear fault at being curious, but not being able to forsee and accept the consequences of my childish curiosity.
Eventhough I am very doubtful in terms of morality, I can't forgive myself for seeing the world and its people as my toys any longer.
I used to be nihilistic and an opportunist, only using the world to satisfy my own needs, but even that doesn't work as much as it should.
Therefor my subconsciousness only desires punishment of the Self.
Egocentric behaviour should be considered as a lonely act, therefor damned to a lonely existence.
And honestly, loneliness has never sounded more liberating.

Haiku- Karakterloos en karaktervol

karaterloos en karatervol

hier sta ik dan weer

tussen de gelukkigen

welk masker moet nu?

Essay on Freedom (Existentialism)

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Theme 5 - Ethics
‘All systems of morality are based on the idea that an action has consequences that legitimize or cancel it. A mind imbued with the absurd merely judges that those consequences must be considered calmly. It is ready to pay up. In other words, there may be responsible people, but there are no guilty ones.’’
-Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus (1942)

Whenever I think of Camus, I wonder what stops us all from committing suicide. After all, according to the existentialism, life has no meaning.
Life is always an intense battle between becoming someone you want to be and coming to consensus with whom you were in the past.
Thrown into the world without an essence and forced to use the world to your advantage as disadvantage to become who you want to be.
This paradox of existence is something that only a human has to undertake, because we have the fortune as misfortune of being able to reflect on who we were, who we are and who we want to be.
With this grand task that has to be carried out throughout our whole life, what exactly is this paradox I am speaking of?
The paradox I am speaking of is the paradox of freedom in our existence.
Every single one of us, no exceptions made, has been thrown into this world without our consent or our disagreement. We never had the choice to reflect on the world we are thrown in. Namely, for such a thing to take place it is necessary for us to be able to have a consciousness, that makes us take every step we are going to take in consideration and then ask itself the question: Do I or do I not want to be a part of this world, as this person in this environment?
And this isn’t the case. Consciousness and self-reflection can only take place the moment it can even out events to one another that take place in the subjective and physical world and to then take the conclusion whether its actions and the consequences of these actions appeal to it or not.
Which simply means, there was no I before the existence.

I can now state that we have been born completely freely, without any strings attached to us that swing us towards the path of life we are obligated to follow.
The paradox of existence is this: with every decision we take, we become less and less free.
With every observation and thought we encounter, we are filling ourselves with information and becoming less free. Less free in the sense, that it is difficult for us to begin from a total point zero and then work towards an alternative style of thinking and living.
The unfortunate part is, that we can’t blame the invisible strings for what we have become. We can’t blame our environment either.
After all, weren’t we thrown freely into the world to make any choice we want?
Sartre would be nodding yes, because you always had the choice to do something else; now that you made your current choice, it is necessary for you to take the consequences and live with it.
With that said, with every step we are taking we have become less and less free. We have become a slave to our own existence, because there is no escape and there is no one else to blame except for you.

This raises the next question: why don’t we all just commit suicide?
Life sounds difficult, it seems pointless and I have just shown you that we have no one else to blame except ourselves.
The answer I am going to give you is very simple.
Although many claim that suicide is an act of freedom, it is in my eyes an act of imprisoning yourself forever.
By committing suicide, you are not freeing yourself from this world.
No, you are taking away any possible chance of becoming another you. You are taking away your freedom of choice, how limited those choices may seem; because by being dead there is no chance that a person can realize and manifest himself in this world anymore.
This shows us that we have no choice but to exist.
And this is the grand paradox of being human and the freedom of choice.

Camus states: ‘’A mind imbued with the absurd merely judges that those consequences must be considered calmly. It is ready to pay up.’’
-The Myth of Sisyphus (1942)
With that said, he has made a select group of people who have this special mindset and they are willing to take any consequences that come out of their actions.
Suddenly though, he draws the line from this select group of people, to all the people that exist.
‘’There may be responsible people, but there are no guilty ones.’’
What does this say about his statement? I can only conclude that Camus assumes that every person on this planet thinks about every action he makes and is willing to accept the consequences that it brings.
That is not the case and I will explain why.
The moment we have been thrown into this world, we had nothing to work with. With that I mean, we had no moral structures, we didn’t even have the ability to speak. Is it possible to accept of a baby to take full responsibility of his actions, when there was nothing before his existence and almost no information after his existence?
Now let me extend that a bit more.
In our life, we never are able to predict all possible outcomes of every possible action in whole the world. Instead we merely narrow down, by past experience, the best possible action we can take at that moment without being one hundred percent sure of the outcome. We only assume the most plausible outcome possible.
That is why I used the baby as an example. We have nothing to work with at the beginning, but the more we live the more narrow our choice of actions become; this doesn’t mean that we can be more certain about the outcome with every year we age.
With that said, what Camus assumes is not something that is, but how it should be.
It is very important to make this distinction between something that is the case and something we think should be the case.
And unfortunately what is the case is the fact that we can’t take full responsibility of our actions.
However, as I have stated before, we can use the world to our advantage and make ourselves into something we want to be, with the unfortunate side effect of always being in risk of being guilty of immoral behavior.
Fortunately though we can narrow down this risk by learning the system of morality and using it to our advantage.
After a large period of time we have learned more and more and we will never be finished with learning, because there are always unpredictable situations that urge us to learn more about our morality and ourselves - although having learned enough to function properly in our society.

With that said, we have learned that behind every action lie consequences that we are responsible for.
However, I can’t make the claim that we aren’t guilty, because we are.
This merely means that with every immoral action that goes against the systems of morality, we learn where we can line the borders of our freedom.
And everyone that crosses that border has never understood the long and hard road that took us towards the border of the systems of morality.

The Fault in Our School System (Ethics)

‘Non vitae sed scholae discimus.’

A pun on the famous Latin expression ‘non scholae sed vitae discimus’, which means that we do not learn the most important things by sitting in a classroom and listening to what the teacher has to tell, but that we as human beings only truly can gain knowledge by experiencing certain events that we want to know more about.

Seneca has made a pun by switching two words, namely vitae and scholae and with this play on words Seneca’s thoughts about the role that school plays in our society is shown.  

Let me first start by explaining how I interpret this quote.

Non vitae sed scholae discimus.

Meaning

We are taught for the schoolroom, not for life.

Seneca’s way of thinking was the total opposite of what was custom during that time. (I mean the period of the Roman Empire)

Seneca has switched the words to make his statement clear as to how much his environment has changed.

In his eyes we do not longer learn what is the right thing for ourselves to do in life.

We purely do whatever our teachers expect us to.

Basically, Seneca believes that society is based on whoever can shout the right answer in class without the learning process having any further result in the life of the relevant student.

Contrary to the previous belief that it is not important what we exactly learn at school, it is important to know how to apply the knowledge to our own life.

The things we used to learn were not given to us by our teachers, it was all solely self-discovery by experiencing every bit of knowledge.

Of course the teachers played a huge role in the process to gain this knowledge.

However, it was not important to be the best in class and do the best in class to be able to make the best of your own life.

Seneca is stating that this kind of self-discovery by experiencing the interesting things in life has been pushed aside.

It is all about learning what the school system expects us to answer.

Shout the right answer the loudest in the classroom.

We should do as is expected of us, if we want to aspire anything higher in life, because after all according to Seneca: society has taught us that we do not learn anything by experiencing itself.

After all the right answer is there, with your teacher. We should only learn that and simply repeat what we have been told.

Even though I do not know in what circumstances this quote was written, I can understand which direction Seneca is going with these kind of thoughts, because I observe the same kind of behavior in my own learning environment. (The fact that school comes before the self-development of the talents a person possess.)

I only think Seneca has missed a crucial point.

You see, Seneca states that not P but Q is the case. (We only learn for school and not for life.)

I rather think that these two, almost opposite seen, cases actually walk hand in hand during the life of a student.

In my eyes because of P à Q is possible. (Because of school we are able to experience life to its fullest.)

Seneca states that in order for one to take place (P) the other should be absent (Q).

We solely learn for the schoolroom, not for life.

If learning for the schoolroom is taking place, automatically the learning of life isn’t.

My opinion is that we will be able to experience life to its fullest with a proper education system.

Let me substantiate what I mean by this.

The reason we are in the classroom to begin with is because we see ourselves as people who have not experienced enough in life to fully be developed into our superego (=the person we want to be, opposite to who we are right now) and we don’t understand everything that we come across to.

We are still infants, who look at the world with big astonished eyes.

There is someone needed to help this infant and help him develop those potentials in which he excels.

This is the teacher who does not want his students to push their self-development aside and solely repeat after him.

This teacher is not denying their potential knowledge, this teacher is not trying to suppress the talents of his students in the suffocating classroom.

This teacher acknowledges the talents of his student and his purpose is to lead these students to the end of their learning journey, so they can become self-conscious people who will use the knowledge of the teacher to experience life to its fullest and thereby understand every event that befalls them.

This teacher adds meaning to the these experiences.

Therefor he should be seen as a companion, who travels behind the infant and helps him whenever this child is looking surprised at the big world, because he has potential to understand life but not the knowledge of how to develop these talents to its fullest and thereby experiencing life.

Thereby I believe that because of the schoolroom we are not shutting ourselves off.

Not at all.

We gain knowledge from people who have experienced everything we want to experience.

It is only logical to embrace this knowledge given to us as aid in our further journey what is known as life.

The question is, why is self-development so important?

Why should we gain experiences?

I see this as the most important thing in the ladder of life.

Next to the primary needs like water, food, shelter and secondary needs like family, friends and respect, the highest form of living, in my eyes, is the chance to be able to live in an environment where self-development is possible so we can know who the real me is the accept it and love it for who it is.

Even though I showed you earlier that there were a few points that I didn’t agree with, I can’t say that Seneca is fully wrong.

What I showed you earlier was, in my eyes, the ideal school system and I honestly don’t think our school system is that bad.

However it is slightly much more focused on getting high grades and passing classes.

I am not stating this as a bad thing, not at all actually.

There needs to be some kind of motivation in order to do the thing you should do.

In exchange you get recognition for your intelligence in the form of a grade.

This can make a person happy or rather self-satisfied, because, if done correctly, the student knows that this grade only tests him on his ability to understand what he wanted to understand and he passed it, therefor he has gained more knowledge and will have more experience in the rest of his life by using this gained knowledge.

Unfortunately this kind of behavior is lacking.

When a student gets bad grades, he or she is rather frustrated about the fact that he’ll get trouble with his environment than the fact that he didn’t learn as much from the class as he should have, because that is after all what should be the priority when you go to school.

Theoretically speaking things like cheating and fooling your teacher shouldn’t take place at all, just in order to achieve a high grade.

By doing this you’re forgetting the reason you’re going to school.

But it is understandable.

The classroom is full of anxious students, who know that their intelligence will only be recognized in the form of a grade, typed down in big black letters on their grade card.

I am not saying grades should be banned, it is an encouraging way for the students to show what they know.

However I think that method on which our school system is based emphasizes grades and repetitive behavior a lot more than the self-development of the students.

Achieving the opposite of what school is intended for, not self-development but exactly as Seneca stated.

Non vitae, sed scholae discere

Not learning for life, but for school.