Satire on Introverts

Ah, yes the introvert. Homo Introvertus. In its natural habitat. Let's examine this species from closer up. It is often in small a environment. The introvert is known for its love of silence and can often be found under a rock.
Its breathing cycle is determined by the amount of species surrounding it. When it experience stress, symptoms of social anxiety can be found by hissing at the fellow inmates.
It is said that their lack of social interaction has caused them to reproduce a-sexually, which is there seems to be lack of variety in their individual behaviour. 
Be careful though, dear viewers. This species can be often confused for another one. They're a special kind that suffers from a rare mental disorder. 
Ah, yes the The Special Little Snowflake Syndrome isn't rare among those who are so called introverts. 
The reason behind it is difficult, but there seems to be coherence between their anti-social behaviour and lack of confidence. Both negatives oddly enough create a positive that is known as this rare mental condition. When exposed to it enough, it might even be transmitted, although there isn't enough evidence to back it up. Either way, be cautious when approaching this fine specimen. 
If we take a closer look, we can see that it giving double signals. We have to be careful though, because it might run away if we approach it. But upon closer look we can see that the Snowflake has not changed the pages of its book on Virginia 's Woolfs influence in feminism for a half hour now. The so called unapproachable behaviour seems to contradict their need to come to a crowded area to show that they don't like people.
Do you think you have spotted an introvert that is actually suffering from the Special Snowflake Syndrome?  Please contact us. This species is killing off the planet. We have to stop them before they reproduce. They are often seen wearing oversized headphones, a book in one hand and wearing glasses. If they are sitting and drinking tea and posting on social media about how all they need in life is a book and a cup of tea, take immediate action and fire.
Do not try to reason with it, if you do not want to end up in their underground spider Web community known by the name of Tumblr. 
One like is one less Special Snowflake.